Whether you’re just starting to learn about the adoption process and search for potential adoptive parents for your baby or you’ve already found a prospective adoptive family and you’re ready to talk to them for the first time, you’re probably worried about finding the right couple to adopt your child.
You want your baby to have the best childhood possible, and you want to find them a set of loving adoptive parents. That starts by asking questions.
Some adoption questions to ask the adoptive parents are just to figure out what they’re like, and others are to establish whether or not you have the same dream for the adoption.
When brainstorming what to ask adoptive parents, first come up with plenty of ice-breaker questions: How did you meet? What do you do for fun? What’s your favorite tradition that you share together? What kind of music are you into?
Just listening to them share stories about their life together will help paint the picture of what their family would be like if they adopted your baby. Get to know them, and see if you get a good gut feeling!
Consider interview questions to ask adoptive parents such as:
- What holiday traditions would you share as a family?
- Is there any place you’d want to travel to as a family?
- What would you consider to be a priority in your family?
- Would you be interested in staying in contact with me after the adoption? How often?
- Would you want to be with me at the hospital for the birth?
At this point in the adoption process, you will likely already have your adoption plan laid out. Your plan will be used to match you with prospective adoptive families who have a similar vision for the adoption.
For example, if you want to have a very open adoption with regular correspondence with the family, you’ll be matched with an adoptive couple who wants the same. This is why it’s important to ask questions when talking with adoptive parents that will help you confirm whether or not they want the same kind of adoption as you.
However, there are some questions that would be better directed toward your adoption professional, rather than the potential adoptive parents.
There are three types of questions not to ask adoptive parents when you speak with them:
- Questions about infertility
- Questions about money
- Questions about personal details
Questions about infertility could, of course, be very hurtful to an adoptive couple who have been struggling with fertility problems for years. On the other hand, some prospective adoptive parents don’t have fertility problems; they simply want to build a family through adoption. Regardless, you should avoid bringing up their ability to have biological children in case it’s a sensitive subject for them.
All questions about adoption finances should always be directed to your professional at Bierly & Rabuck. While the adoptive parents may be able to assist you with certain adoption-related expenses during your pregnancy, these payments should always be handled by an adoption professional. When in doubt, ask your adoption specialist.
Personal details like addresses, phone numbers and last names should only be exchanged if both you and the prospective adoptive parents are comfortable with it and at the recommendation of Denise or Bobbie.
Bierly & Rabuck can facilitate communication between you and potential adoptive parents to preserve your anonymity and privacy. If you decide to proceed with an adoptive family, you can share some basic contact information to keep in touch directly, or you can continue talking through an adoption professional for updates, letters and photos if you want an open adoption that still preserves your privacy.
The first time talking with adoptive parents can be intimidating, but it’s also exciting! You may find that this is the family that you want for your child, and it’ll help you to feel more comfortable with the idea of adoption.
If you’d like to match with prospective adoptive parents, you can call Bierly & Rabuck at 814-237-7900 to get free information and start the process now.